widows first cruise alone

[xmaslady]

My husband and I cruised 35 times in 27 years of marriage. He passed away last July from cancer and now I have booked my first cruise alone on the Granduer and I am really not sure how I am going to do this. I know there are people out there that cruise by themselves all the time and maybe some women out there that that have gone through the same thing that I am going through. Can someone help me with what to do about dinner or doing anything alone or maybe I shouldn't do this because it might be to lonely?

[katydyd]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I've been cruising on my own for some time now, but for different reasons. I've got a divorce, and a son away at college in my corner. I will tell you that I love cruising as a way to vacation on my own. I always feel safe, I always have a good time, and I always meet neat and interesting people.

 

I do not do the MDR. But, that is something that I stopped doing while I was still part of a couple. I enjoy the freedom of hitting up the WJ, or specialty restaurants when I feel like it. I, rarely if ever, make reservations at the specialty restaurants. I've found that if I walk up when I feel the urge and politely ask if they have accommodations for a single, that the Maitre 'D goes out of their way to accommodate me.

 

My first cruise alone, I opted to do ship sponsored excursions, for my peace of mind. By my second solo cruise, I was ready to strike out on my own again.

 

I tend to find a venue that I enjoy for my evening, and get to know the bartenders there. They tend to be great about watching my drink, and saving my seat for me while I hit the lady's room....things that I never thought that I'd have to think about.

 

I think that you should try it once, but, go into it with the mindset that it will be a completely different vacation (kind of like when a young couple goes on their first vacation with a baby), and see if you like it. If not, branch out and try something completely different.

 

Life transitions are always difficult, and often, more trial and error until we find what will fit us best.

 

I wish you all the best.

[TX.Mameow&Papeow]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My suggestion would be to check the Roll call for your cruise. There are many singles that cruise alone for various reasons and there are probably some on your cruise. They sometimes organize a singles table and sometimes RCCL will seat singles together. I have also seen where they may chat on the roll calls and organize tours to participate in together.

 

As a couple my husband and I have always enjoyed the company of others at our dining table or on shore excursions regardless weather singles ,couples, or families. It might be a bit hard at first, but I think you will enjoy yourself once your on board, especially since it was something you enjoyed in the past. Good luck to you and I hope you have a wonderful time.

[Cruisegirl6]

Hello and nice to meet you. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband but I know he would want you to live and go on and be happy. I feel that you need to go on and live, forget about "being alone" forget about what if....just go and go with the flow, things work out. Stop worrying about the "what if's"....now a few suggestions to help you:

 

 

1- Never feel awkward sitting with other people you may just fine yourself enjoying yourself meeting other people

2- Write to the maitre'd before your cruise and mention that your a widow and prefer to sit with other people and request a large table. If you sit at a table that accommodates 6-12 there is a good chance that somebody or more than one person will be very pleasurable dining with.

3- When you participate in activities such as trivia, bingo or whatever you usually sit around people that are friendly and you end up speaking to them and making friends.

4- Check cruise critic roll call, you can meet wonderful people that way on your sailing

 

Just go and have a wonderful relaxing time, your beloved loved one would not want you to stop living. I have a saying which is "if your not happy to be by yourself then you have a problem" go out and enjoy the life you have left, do what you want and need to do, you need to be happy and live the life you have in happiness, don't worry who is looking at you and don't pay attention...keep your chin high up, smile, laugh, meet people talk to them and make friends...it will happen just don't overthink things and get stressed out go and will have a good time. The first time is always the hardest but I assure you, all the worries your having are for nothing, go and enjoy.

[lattelady]

I, too, am sorry for your loss. My mother-in-law began cruising alone after her husband died. She typically took roughly 3 month long cruises every year. She made dear friends on these trips and they often met up on other cruises. She loved cruising alone.

 

I applaud you for going out of your comfort zone. Of course, with all the cruising you did with your husband, you may want to be prepared for the memories that may surface. May the moments of sadness be met with peace and hope. And while you may be lonely at times, don't let that give you the thought that the trip is a mistake! Expectations matter. So if you expect that there will be some moments of loneliness, uncertainty, and sadness, when they occur it will be a little more accepted and easier to move past. At least, that's how I've dealt with some things before.

[Lady Hudson]

So sorry for your loss but glad you are trying a solo cruise. I have done 60 cruises but only about 20 with my husband. He just doesn't like it the way I do!

 

My advice would be, on this first cruise alone, would definitely be to go to many of the sponsored activities on the ship. That way you will have the company of others. Do go to the Meet and Mingle -- you may meet other solos there. In fact, ask on your roll call if there are other solos on the trip. You might contact the dining room staff and ask to sit at a table of solos for dinner (some of the most fun times I have had on a ship). Check once you are onboard that your request has been granted.

 

I wish you the very best. I think you will find that cruising this way is very safe a very enjoyable.

[dacsmom]

I am sorry for your loss but do not give up on cruising. I love to cruise solo because I meet the nicest people. I get a large table at dinner and have met lifelong friends on cruises. Since solo cruising is becoming more popular many ships have solo cruisers gatherings. This is a nice way to meet people to share meals and excursions with.

[138east]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. You are getting excellent advice and should try all of it.

 

There is a solo cruiser (not single, but solo) board where you should post for other suggestions.

 

If you are a diamond or above, you will have access to drinks between 5 and 8:30 pm. This is a good way to meet other cruisers in a more social setting and you might find it more comfortable than hanging out in one of the bars.

 

Post on your roll call - don't just lurk. Ask if there are other solos. If someone arranges a private excursion, consider joining it. What is your itinerary? There are some islands like St. Thomas and St. Martin with popular and reliable private tour operators who offer fun tours.

 

Use your cabin for sleeping and down time. Otherwise be out and about on the ship.

[molly361]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

Here is the board for solo cruisers where you should find lots of info that might be helpful to you

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=373

[Lionesss]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I am sure if you are able to keep doing what you loved with your husband, now that he is gone, you will find others experiencing the same hardship.

 

Go.........enjoy..........meet new people.

Be involved.

 

You should still enjoy life, I am sure your husband would have wanted that for you.

 

Sea Ya

[squadron]

I, too, am sorry for your loss. My mother-in-law began cruising alone after her husband died. She typically took roughly 3 month long cruises every year. She made dear friends on these trips and they often met up on other cruises. She loved cruising alone.

 

I applaud you for going out of your comfort zone. Of course, with all the cruising you did with your husband, you may want to be prepared for the memories that may surface. May the moments of sadness be met with peace and hope. And while you may be lonely at times, don't let that give you the thought that the trip is a mistake! Expectations matter. So if you expect that there will be some moments of loneliness, uncertainty, and sadness, when they occur it will be a little more accepted and easier to move past. At least, that's how I've dealt with some things before.

 

I'm not as eloquent as other posters but have enjoyed going solo. I do the MDR and find I like the comfort of having the same dinner mates who all share their day. Never have I had to change tables but remember if you are unhappy with the "mix" you can ask to change tables. Join in to the activities that you might enjoy, join roll call go to meet and mingle and hope it lives up to it's name! Don't be afraid to start up a conversation - most people are very friendly and love to talk about their excursions etc. In Hawaii this year I am doing some private excursions (did ship ones last time) but generally I like the convenience of ship ones and sometimes check and see private ones aren't that much cheaper. I wonder if more groups of friends and family do the private ones. Several years ago went with three lifelong friends and found I missed the freedom of being solo.

[lovesthebeach2]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I'm sure he WILL be with you on your cruise, you won't be alone. Have fun and talk to everyone you meet, you will have a good time.

[Arizona Cruz Chic]

Very sorry for your loss. Your husband will be with you in spirit. :)

Get involved with the Meet and Mingle, it will help to get to know a few of your other fellow passengers beforehand, who knows there may be other single ladies.

 

Go to the activities that interest you. Try new things.

 

Good luck, I know you will be fine and you'll have a great time!!

 

Be sure to come back and let us know all about it!!! ;)

 

***

[utopiahereicome]

I am so sorry for your loss, and understand what you are going through as my husband just passed away in February after complications from heart surgery. We both loved cruising! I have a cruise booked for the first week of June on Oasis with me, his daughter, and two grandchildren - and have arranged with RC to scatter his ashes off the boat. After that cruise, I am not sure if I will have the courage to do what you are doing and cruise alone, but it is something that I am considering. If you do go, I hope that you will post something about your trip to let us know how it went!

[SJS]

I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my husband four years ago. My first cruise without him was with my daughter and her family. There were tears shed that first cruise missing him but I have gone on two more cruises since then. The last cruise I took my 18 year old grandson for his high school graduation gift and we had so much fun. He did meet others so I spent some time on my own and it was fine. In fact I am also considering doing a solo cruise.

 

I agree with the others that you should try for a large table in the dining room. And don't forget the waiters are so friendly that you never really feel like you are dining alone. Expect some hard moments but it will be a positive step moving forward with the rest of your life. Hope you have a wonderful time!

[John Reid]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

Do keep cruising. The demographics of a Grandeur cruise will definitely better coincide with your current needs.

 

Out of all the good advice being given, I would reinforce two things. First, do join others for dinner. When I have cruised alone, that has been enjoyable. Second, definitely get active on the CC Roll Call and Meet and Mingle for your cruise. You may well end up with a group of wonderful contacts before you even step on the ship.

 

Enjoy your cruise.

[kc320]

I am sorry for your loss...my husband also passed away almost 10 yrs ago...I took my 1st cruise without him just 2 months after he passed away...may have been a bit to soon...but it did give me time to just sit back & unwind. Since then I have cruised many times, sometimes alone..sometimes with friends or family...I have 2 cruises booked for this year where I am sailing solo. For me, I enjoy doing MTD as it gives me the option of going to the dining room or enjoying room service on my balcony without having to worry about disrupting my tablemates...with a table for 2 in MTD you are close enough to other diners that conversation back & forth seems to come pretty easily. Please take the advice to join your roll call...some are more active & chatty than others...but it is always nice to have people you "know" as soon as you board the ship.

[Mystaken]

I too am sorry for your loss!

 

I often cruise solo. It's much more relaxing for me to have the freedom to do as I desire. I have found that when I am solo, more people approach me and start a conversation than when I am sailing with others. You won't feel totally alone.

 

If you have MTD you can ask to be seated with others or by yourself, depending on how you feel at the time. Sometimes the others you are seated with will agree to dine together again. It's a good way to meet a lot of people without committing to eating with anyone you don't enjoy for the entire cruise.

 

Good luck! I know you will have a great time!

 

Edited to add: Forgot to mention, take a jacket or sweater with you whenever you go to a buffet to keep your seat reserved.

Edited March 22, 2014 by Mystaken

[Noreen411]

Hi

 

First let me say how sorry I am to hear of your loss.

 

I was widowed at 42 when my husband died suddenly of a heart attack in December 2010.

 

We had a cruise booked for February 2011 (2 months later) that I ended up going on without him. It was a hard decision whether or not to go, but I'm glad I did.

 

I joined the roll call and met great people who I have cruised again with. Some of them have become lifelong real friends.

 

I linked my reservation for dinner to eat with some from the roll call since that was a big concern. I also signed up for various excursions with different roll call members. I signed up for just about all the activities anyone on the roll call planned.

 

I posted what happened on my roll call because I was thinking of cancelling the cruise. So many people from the roll call were so encouraging that I decided to go. Of course, I had contingency plans in place in case it was too much and I wanted to go home

 

I also joined a support group at home since it's helpful to be able to talk to others in the same situation.

 

I have written and posted a review for that cruise on Explorer of the Seas in February 2011 which you can probably find if you search by my user name. It wasn't as long as the reviews I used to write, but it gives some insight into dealing with being on the cruise myself for the first time

 

I hope you decide to go and still enjoy cruising. Your husband will be with you in spirit cheering you on.

 

Noreen

[drarill]

I'm really sorry for your loss. You have received excellent advice here; join your roll call, join members of your roll call in private tours or take cruise sponsor tours, go to trivia & bingo. Hope you enjoy your cruise. :)

[slc22]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I found a wonderful Travel Agency that has hosted singles cruises throughout the year, which helped me ease into solo sailing. I've sailed with them on different ships and itineraries. Some of the cruises target 40+. I've sailed with them on Caribbean, Alaska, Mexico and Mediterranean itineraries. Varied and fun.

 

What I like about them is they have mixers and solo-only events, and dance classes for the group, as well as optional group excursions. They have a set dining time with tables reserved for the group, so you can mix and mingle and meet many people. So you always have someone to eat with. This really eased my mind. I have traveled solo a lot, and it seems the only time I would have a chance to be lonely was at dinner time. So, by sailing with the singles group (google vacations and single cruise, and you will find the cruise calendar) I never had to worry about looking out of place at dinner. There were many other solos in the same situation, happy to share the table. And many to plan excursions with.

 

I introduced my widowed sister to this group on a cruise last December, and she has already booked another! She summed it up, that it's a safe, fun way to cruise, and you will go away with friends to plan next cruises with.

 

I've also sailed solo without the "group" this year, and have followed the advise of others. I've join the "roll call" and met some really nice folk.

 

Either way, I wish you luck! You can do it. I've met such nice people cruising, and I think you will too.

 

Sue

Edited March 23, 2014 by slc22

[xmaslady]

Thank you everyone for all your advice. I can't even believe all of the responses I received from all of you it makes me realize that there are a lot of caring people out there.

I am going to try to take a lot of your advise. One of the hard parts will be that I am a shy person and my husband was the out going one so he was the one who would get us talking to other people. I am going to work hard on trying to start conversations with people I don't know. Once again thank you all for all of your advice and I am already feeling better about this.

[6rugrats]

My husband and I cruised 35 times in 27 years of marriage. He passed away last July from cancer and now I have booked my first cruise alone on the Granduer and I am really not sure how I am going to do this. I know there are people out there that cruise by themselves all the time and maybe some women out there that that have gone through the same thing that I am going through. Can someone help me with what to do about dinner or doing anything alone or maybe I shouldn't do this because it might be to lonely?

 

My husband died last summer also. He was young and it was very unexpected. Everything can be lonely now, can't it?

 

You should go. You are building a new life now without him, and that includes traveling on your own. I agree that joining your roll call and "meeting" some people before your cruise can help you feel more comfortable.

 

Try to have a plan for each day; it will get you out of your cabin and interacting with others. I wonder if it might be helpful, if you don't meet people in advance on your roll call, to have a quick talk with the maître d' and let him know your situation, if you don't like where you are seated at dinner.

 

I do have two children that are still at home, and we went on a cruise this Christmas. I'm not going to lie, it was hard at times and I was lonely. I noticed often I was somewhat ignored by the staff, as a woman traveling alone with two teens, but overall, it was a good trip and I'm glad I went.

 

Just realize it's not going to be the same, but that doesn't mean it can't be good. Best of luck to you.

[Gator92]

Wow, I never thought I would be talking about this on a cruise critic board, but maybe it is just what I need. My 45 yo husband was diagnosed 2 days ago with stage 4 prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. Talk about a big surprise!:confused: We have a trip, along with our 2 teens on the Allure in 2 weeks. He doesn't want to go, but is insisting I take the kids. He is going to see his parents during that week. I really don't know what to do! Do I go if he is going to be gone anyway?

 

If I do go, then there is another issue. We have 2 rooms booked and you have to have an adult in each room. So, if he doesn't go, we are short an adult. Will RC even let us board? Talk about a big mess. I don't know that anyone can provide advice, but thanks for letting me vent for a minute. It is a scary and confusing time and I am a bit overwhelmed.

 

My condolences to all of you that have talked of the loss of a loved one.

[librayacht]

I felt as if I had posted your message. My husband passed away in June 2013 of cancer also. We only had 2 months after the diagnosis and he had never been sick. We too had cruised over thirty times and I am so missing cruising. To get back into it slowly I am taking my children and their families on a Thanksiving cruise on Liberty. If that goes well I am going to try it on my own. Hearing all these positive messages from everyone really makes me feel as if I can do it. For all of you that answered the original post thank you so much!!