The Chardonnay Sisters and Premature Disembarkation

Warnings: No new information; first world problems; geography issues; liver abuse; minor smoking rant (boo, hiss, smokers!); blood sports (trivia); cheesy goldfish; new friends; the Somali pirates are now apparently all driving cabs in San Diego; novelty purses (some made of chocolate!); drug use (not ours); and naps (definitely ours.)

 

If it were up to me I’d be satisfied with a 6 month vacation twice a year but unfortunately, a youthful vocational indiscretion led me to the nonprofit sector and rendered that option permanently unavailable. Having blown through five weeks of vacation time in the last twelve months, I pretty much started the year with a debilitating (and frankly, distractingly itchy) case of Vacation Deficit Disorder so it looked like the longer itineraries were off the table. After suffering through three months without a holiday, the Evil Twin and I were beyond chuffed to see Pacific Coastal season on the horizon.

 

As luck would have it, my boss and coworkers are unanimous in their desire to see me adequately travelled in the interests of keeping office drama at a minimum. One time when it got particularly bad, they gifted me with a pretty new jacket to keep my mind off of my wanderlust. It’s white with sleeves that make you hug yourself but eventually I was able to chew through the cute little belt and now HR is happy to look the other way when my neglected passport starts burning a hole in my sanity and threatening an office-closing incident. I have to pretend to like people all day; that’s called being an adult and why wine is called an adult beverage. But sometimes, there are those workdays when I fear I’m a flight risk. When that happens, trust me, throwing me a few extra travel days is in everyone’s best interests.

 

So, with my accumulated vacation days in the single digits, the younger, prettier twin and I booked a four day repositioning trip on the Noordam from San Diego to Vancouver, and vowed to be unspeakably mean to all the folks who had been onboard through the canal and completely snub the ones that would be continuing on to Alaska after we were kicked to the curb in Canada to make our pathetic way home. It’s good to have a plan.

 

Side note – I recently learned (from reading the Internet where everything is completely true) that an alarming number of high school grads in the US believe that Alaska is an island. That’s why we weren’t so unhappy not to be making the whole trip; we’re not really beach people.

 

 

Day 1 – Travel. I still fail to understand why travel days always start at an hour when the only words my addled brain can process are “go back to sleep” and “bacon.” I know you can’t drink all day if you sleep ‘til noon and as I’ve said before, that wine’s not gonna drink itself; but just once I’d like to begin a trip with more than four hours of sleep under my ever-widening belt. Travel days are never easy and frankly, I just don’t have the blood alcohol level to deal with them at hell o’clock in the morning.

 

But, I rallied. Sis and her Long Suffering Hubby picked me up and piloted us to the Van Nuys Train Station so we could begin our journey. This was a girls’ trip and since it was so short, we didn’t pop for travel insurance, admonishing the LSH to avoid any and all types of emergencies that might interfere with our four days away. When it comes to bodily injury, the LSH could jump into a haystack and get stabbed by the needle. “No ladders, unplug all power tools, no metal anywhere near the microwave, stay away from sharp objects, shaving is overrated, spoons good – forks bad.” Or as Sis so succinctly put it, “I have a black dress and I’m not afraid to wear it.”

 

Once at the station, it was time for one of my least favorite parts of any excursion. The weigh-in. Even though it was a short trip, we each packed our largest suitcase because I think between the two of us we were carrying 16 purses for a four night cruise. I’m proud to say I was under the 50 pound weight limit for pretty much the first time ever (obese, rather than morbidly obese) although Her Evilness still managed to come in with a lower number (pleasantly chubby.) That irked me for a minute or two until I remembered I can still eat goldfish off her head. Not that I do, of course; it’s just nice to know that I have the option when a yen for the snack that smiles back hits hard.

 

 

Soon we were happily seated in the First Class section of the train, sipping chardonnay and enjoying the complimentary wifi. I planned to buy an Internet package on the ship to keep on top of things in the office since all four of the cruise days were weekdays and I had no desire to have the work folks decide that my time away was anything other than a good thing. Naturally, that never happened because – well – wine.

 

The first “twin spotting” occurred as we were boarding the ship. “You guys are twins, right?” said the security scanner. “Close enough, but if you hadn’t noticed, I AM taller.” (It’s not that I’m immature; it’s just that she started it.)

 

Once on the ship, we dropped off our carry-ons in the room, met our cabin stews, Matthew and Hawas, and headed to the Ocean for our first drink onboard before heading outside for the Muster Drill where apparently, we passed muster. This one went pretty smoothly but it still seemed strange that the announcements actually sent people back to their staterooms rather than saying, “if this was an actual emergency…” We were shocked to hear this on our last Noordam cruise when a lot of people went to their rooms to wait and the drill took a lot longer than it should have.

 

On the way back to our room after the Muster Drill, a young lady stopped me to comment on my purse which was designed to look like a Ouija Board. She loved it and as luck would have it (ours, not necessarily hers), we’d be meeting up with her later on.

 

Our first stop in the Crow’s introduced us to Inebriation Assistant Edwin who made sure the wine cards were adequately activated and even, dare I say it, motivated to live up to our expectations.

 

After that we wandered into the MDR to make sure that our request for a table for two had been honored. We tend to have better people skills when we’re with better people and we don’t want to take any chances with dinner. We were assigned a very nice table along the atrium where we’d be able to people-watch all the folks downstairs and not have any of our constructive criticisms overheard or avenged. Perfect.

 

After another drink or two in the Ocean, the early morning started to catch up with us so we grabbed a slice of pizza from the Lido and headed back to the room to rest up for dinner. As all the cool kids say these days, somewhat inexplicably, “there’s a nap for that.”

 

I never nap at home because any time I attempt to get horizontal during the day, my cats think that’s their signal to begin CPR.

 

Eventually we dressed for dinner and waiters Widi and Agusti exceeded our already high expectations. I’m always impressed when people can manage that; I generally set an abysmally low standard for myself which I consistently fail to maintain (still, consistency is something.) I didn’t even have to pick the offending fishy out of The Evil Twin’s Caesar salad each night. I’m pretty sure they track preferences and I can imagine what it says when our cards are swiped – “Mostly Harmless. Give them chardonnay and ice water; goldfish over peanuts whenever possible; hold the anchovies; comment on their ridiculous purses; call them twins (they love that); never let their glasses get dry; keep security on speed dial and no one will get hurt (usually.)”

 

Our correctly spelled wine steward, Ricardo, sold us a seven bottle package – three for the MDR and four for the room to complement the two bottles we’d brought on. Only three for the dining room because we planned to go off for dinner in Victoria on Friday which was the only port scheduled. Dinner is poured!

 

I forget what else we had for dinner but I’m sure it was wonderful and after that we set off to suss out the most arbitrary venue on any HAL ship – the Piano Bar. It’s either: (1) A-OK; (2) DOA; or (3) SRO. On this outing, Darren sounded very promising and we were treated to one night of number one and three nights of number three. That night at least, we were lucky enough to get seats at the piano where we chair danced and sang with abandon. You know what they say, “dance like no one’s watching.” Or is that drink? Whatever.

 

There was a gentleman sitting next to me who had clearly started imbibing before Sis and I did, which was really saying something. He got a little touchy-feely, which I put a quick stop to but he was also heckling Darren a bit, loudly proclaiming his request for Bennie and the Jets, over and over again. Darren delivered the best line I heard during the cruise – “Where’d you learn to whisper? A helicopter?”

 

That night, The Evil Twin had her guitar purse and I was rocking one shaped like an accordion. When our Piano Man finally acquiesced and played Bennie and the Jets, our inebriated seat mate jumped up, grabbed Sis’ purse and air-guitared the heck out of the song. I silently implored Darren, using every means of eye-roll communication, not to follow up with “Squeeze Box.”

 

This was only our second time on the Noordam and our fourth on a Vista Class ship, or Enormodams as we call them. While I can navigate the Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Statendam, Maasdam, etc. in my sleep, these ones still confuse me a bit. When leaving the Piano Bar, a bit worse for wear, the Twin assured me she knew this ship “like the back of her hand.” I begged to differ but followed her lead. A mere twenty minutes later, we were back at our room for a well-earned nightcap before bed.

 

Day 2 – At Sea. Before leaving home, we’d checked the Roll Call boards and found a very robust group indeed. I think it hit 20 pages before we sailed. I’ve been on trips much longer with far fewer CCers signed on so this was gonna be fun. IRL Joanie was the first name that really popped out at me as she had helped me out with an undercover secret operation a few years back and I was definitely looking forward to meeting her. We signed up for an informal M&G in the Crow’s on Day Two.

 

Ken (kjw869) and family had also invited us to a sailaway in their PH suite the day before but we were too shy to knock on a stranger’s door. The trial of being introverts. (Never say, “what’s the worst than can happen?” to an introvert. We tend to have very good imaginations.) Still, we were very sorry not to see the Penthouse as the online pics can’t possibly do it justice. We crossed our fingers and hoped there might be a second opportunity.

 

We got to the Crow’s in time for the M&G to find the bar wasn’t actually open and so we’d be meeting new peeps without holding wine glasses, which I consider to be our battle armor. The Twin is better than I am about interacting with people but we’re still both pretty high on the Wallflower Scale so that liquid security blanket was definitely missed.

 

The first folks we met were Joanie and her husband Roger and they couldn’t have done more to put us at ease. We were soon joined by Ken, Sue and their daughter Kristin, who was the lady who had commented on my Ouija Board purse. By this time, I was rocking one that looked like a tuxedo and I think the younger and prettier twin was sporting the much ballyhooed fish.

 

Marcia (DobieMom) soon showed up and to our absolute delight, brought us offerings of goldfish and Pocky Sticks (best friends for-evah!) There were other great people there but I want to be careful about naming folks who might not want to be named. Let’s just say – really fun peeps, all of them.

 

Many of the CC regulars on this trip had cruised together before but we were welcomed and settled in to get to know each other a bit. Joanie mentioned a dessert she’d had on a previous trip called a chocolate purse. As you know, we’re all about purses! It sounded wonderful and she and Roger apparently talked to one of the chef gurus who agreed to make it for our small party. She took names; we signed up; and were looking forward to the next day’s lunch in the dining room.

 

After the M&G, we wandered the shops where we, once again, found absolutely nothing to buy and set off to attend the first trivia event of the cruise. The Cruise Director’s disclaimer would take up pages. Paragraphs and paragraphs about the types of behavior that would not be tolerated. Admonitions about challenging answers and inciting violence when another team steals your answers. Warnings about inappropriate acting out and the like. Let’s just say I don’t have kids because I’ve seen the village and I don’t want it raising my children.

 

Insanely, after scolding the group, he announced that the prize for winning trivia was a HAL pin and that there were two ways to get a pin – (1) win trivia and (2) ask him for one. And still, apparently, people were willing to give up their humanity for a piece of enamel. Trying to understand some people’s behavior is like trying to smell the color nine.

 

Needless to say, we play for ourselves and don’t trade our answer sheet with the other enamel hunters because we just don’t meet the height requirement to ride that particular roller coaster.

 

After the blood sport that is trivia, we took a side trip to the MDR to check out the evening’s menu. We didn’t intend to; Her Evilness was trying to pilot us to the Explorations Café and then tried to convince me, unsuccessfully, that the dining room had been her destination all along. “Back of my hand,” my tush!

 

But, I’ll forgive her this time because as we were waiting for the elevator, we heard our names called in a familiar squeal and soon were being quite enthusiastically hugged by our favorite HAL crewman of all, Adi. We’ve run into Adi on our last four cruises despite the fact that we were only on the same ship for three of them. The other time we just bumped into him in Anchorage despite the fact that we’d been dropped there by a different ship. It was starting to get a bit surreal. Kinda like when you’re travelling in a different city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 instead of 7:30.

 

Eventually, we found the library and obtained the daily newspaper so we could catch up on the outside world and squint at the crossword puzzles that now seem to be printed in a negative font size. This aging thing is really getting old.

 

Soon it was time for wine tasting and we hurried back to the dining room where Cellarmaster Csaba walked us through six priced-to-own selections. How big does our bar bill have to get before they’ll let us teach the course? I mean, sometimes we write, “Drink Wine” on our To Do lists just so we’ll have something to cross off each day. I think our teaching credentials must have gotten lost in the mail.

 

Another reason wine tasting is fun is that it gives me the opportunity to try foods I wouldn’t ordinarily have access to on land. At home, I’m not all that adventurous but I have learned that if you mix Taco Bell hot sauce into your ramen, it tastes exactly like poverty. Today’s fare was on the simpler side – various cheeses and fruits I’d met before but that still had the Twin digging into her Tardis purse for an Oreo.

 

At that point, it was time for some R & R and so we headed back to the room for a little break. “Dear Naps, I’m sorry I was so mean to you in kindergarten.”

 

We actually slept through Happy Hour in the Crow’s Nest, which is something I admit to very reluctantly; it was never our intention to fall down on the job, except in the most literal sense, but – well, – wine.

 

Once back among the living, we dressed for dinner and had yet another meal I can’t really say I remember, probably because everything was perfect and there was nothing bad to commit to memory. Then I hit the casino to exercise my other vice – yes, I majored in drinking and minored in smoking (boo, hiss – smokers!)

 

*** If you are smoking intolerant, please skip the next several paragraphs as I have no desire to don an asbestos suit to survive a flame war. ***

 

“Hello. My name is Diann and I am a Smokaholic.” (Chorus: Hello, Diann!) In my defense, and yes, today every smoker needs a defense, I try to be considerate and would much prefer to smoke out of doors, away from anyone who might be offended. When I started cruising with HAL, there were MANY smoking areas on the ship and I’ve watched them dwindle without a pang. I don’t mind having to walk a little farther to indulge my vice. I’m in favor of more non-smoking areas and of any program that discourages the next generation from lighting up.

 

In recent years, on HAL, I could smoke in four places: my balcony (if I have one); the SeaView at the back of the ship; outside the Crow’s at the front of the ship; and the Casino, midship and indoors (when it’s open.)

 

Day one of this trip, I went outside the Crow’s and saw there were no ashtrays set up. People had clearly been smoking as there were cigarette butts ground right onto the deck, something I would never do. I hoped it was because we were taking on fuel and the ashtrays would reappear as this was one of only three public smoking areas.

 

The next few days were very rocky and the outdoor decks were closed so I didn’t get to see for sure if the Crow’s outside space, at least on the Noordam, is now permanently non-smoking, but on our final day, when they were open again, there were still no ashtrays out there, I suspect due to the spa cabins on the Observation Deck . So that brings us down to two public smoking areas. I’m also not sure if the SeaView was one of the outdoor spaces that was closed off during those days but if it was, and one did not have a balcony, there was now only one place for smokers – the casino. Indoors and the one most likely to offend others.

 

Since the casino closed at 4:00 on Friday, many hours before we’d be docking the next morning, peeps without balcony access were now completely persona non grata.

 

I’m not expecting sympathy, but all I’m saying is that for those who are so vehement about balcony smoking, ya gotta give us something. Maybe the mods would allow a new thread, dedicated to creative and collaborative discussion aimed at finding a solution we can all live with – not one group trying to throw the other overboard. OK – END RANT.

 

Back to the ramble. While I was in the casino, doing my thing and losing money at video poker, Her Evilness wandered into the Piano Bar just as Darren was playing Candle in the Wind. She happened to be wearing her high-heeled-shoe purse with the picture of Marilyn Monroe on it. The crowd was impressed.

 

Darren’s show was, unfortunately, standing room only, so we made our way to the Northern Lights where happy hour happened before we stumbled off to bed. I don’t know about you but sometimes after a certain number of drinks, I start using curse words like commas and I realize that it’s time to shut it down before I hit the “cut your own bangs” glass of wine. After all, for once, we’d like to avoid YouTube while on vacation. On an interesting note, according to the Twin, my Nighttime Tourette’s wasn’t as pronounced on this outing. Maybe I was getting it out of system before bedtime.

 

Day 3 – At Sea. We ordered room service the night before because, in a last moment blinding flash of the obvious, we realized that there was no way we’d make breakfast on the Lido. I don’t remember everything but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge tells me something. In any case, a perky crew dude knocked on the door with coffee, bacon and juice and we were soon back on our feet.

 

It was a slow morning and we didn’t need to be anywhere until noon so we lingered in the room a bit, wandered to the Explorations for news and crosswords, perused the shops that seem to be there purely to employ somewhat overly caffeinated salespeople and just generally tried to kill time before meeting up with the CC group for lunch.

 

At about 11:45 it hit us both that we would have to interact with other people and we weren’t sure of the protocol for ordering wine at a group table. It was too late to do much about that so we ran quickly to the SeaView where I grabbed a cigarette and we choked down the fastest glass of chard we’d chugged on the trip.

 

Again, we needn’t have worried. We had two tables, away from the crowd, and the company could not have been better. The chef was true to his word and made us the special dessert – chocolate purses. We packed quite a few special purses for the trip but this one was the best.

 

The Captain’s 1:00 announcement told us that the rough waters might mean we wouldn’t be seeing Victoria. Considering how dodgy the seas had been, that wasn’t really a surprise for anyone. Now we’d be one bottle short for the dining room but we’d muddle through.

 

After lunch, Kristin took us back to her digs for a tour of the Penthouse. No comment. If you’ve seen one, I can’t add to that and if you haven’t, I can’t possibly describe it. Note to self – if reincarnation turns out to be true, go into something other than nonprofit.

 

I’m not sure we got a proper nap that day but we at least took time to rest up for happy hour in the Crow’s Nest. We were at our preferred seats at the bar when a young guy we’d seen the day before sat down, and started chatting. At first it seemed fine. He told of us his life as a junior golf pro, his carefree, beachcombing ways and then gleefully, and repeatedly, detailed his time in federal prison for marijuana distribution on a Breaking Bad scale, of which he seemed exceptionally proud. We got the whole life story and trust me, no one is paying for the movie rights.

 

He got weirder and weirder and eventually admitted that a fellow cruiser had provided him with something akin to a marijuana laced tootsie roll. I remember my own high school days and I’m quite sure there was much more than marijuana at play here. This guy was blazing big time. The couple on the other side of him, to whom he’d been speaking before turning his attentions to us, kept flashing us looks of sympathy for our plight and gratitude for the fact that he seemed to take a shine to us and they had temporarily dropped off his radar. His stories got stranger and stranger as time went on; this dude was a career break for the right therapist.

 

Sis was showing her cool side but eventually, I couldn’t take any more and we hightailed it out of there before I could say something she’d be sorry for. I don’t have a bucket list but I have something that rhymes with one and this guy smelled like drama and a headache.

 

After dinner, we went to our only show of the cruise, Jeff Peterson, who was a magician who worked with his cute little dog. Marcia had recommended him and dropped by our seats before the show to say hi (best friends for-evah!) We thoroughly enjoyed the show, even though the poor little dog seemed a bit freaked out by the rough seas.

 

After the show, there was casino (boo, hiss – smokers!) and late Happy Hour at the Northern Lights. And then it was time for bed.

 

Day 4 – (Mostly) At Sea. Breakfast never happened on this trip, unless we ordered it to the room but that’s OK as we were both taking advantage of the sleeping in option. After a fairly late start, we gathered newspapers, crossword puzzles and wandered around until it was time for lunch in the Pinnacle.

 

We always feel a bit under-dressed, a tad out-classed and a jot too loud in this beautiful venue but our wonderful waiter, who seemed to be a cross between John Cleese and PeeWee Herman, put us at ease.

 

I ordered the hamburger and when asked to order an appetizer, politely declined. “Please?” he said in such a way that I thought he really would be personally affronted if I refused. “OK, fine. The onion soup.” “Dessert?” “No, I can’t possibly.” “Please?” “OMG, OK, the chocolate cake.” I knew I’d never walk again.

 

Her Evilness, however, is stronger than me. Plus, there was literally nothing on the menu, other than the hamburger, that she would be able to eat. I’m glad she doesn’t have to hunt for her food. She doesn’t even know where hamburgers live.

 

After a marvelous lunch, we needed to work off the calories with some vigorous exercise so we headed for happy hour at the Crow’s. At one point, we’re sitting at the bar and Sis holds up her hand, its back to me and says, “Does that look weird to you?” “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you over the sound of you proving my point.” She gave me a look that made me very, very happy she doesn’t have superpowers.

 

By this time, the Captain said we would be making Victoria after all but getting in really late. We decided to stay on the ship and enjoy another dinner with Widi, Agusti and Ricardo. Sis insisted we had an excess of wine in the room and should just deliver one to the MDR. I was sure the room stash would be consumed without issue and insisted that we just purchase an additional bottle on our last night. As it happened, we had no full bottles to lug off with us and hopefully, Hawas or Matthew managed a swig or two of what we left in the fridge.

 

But until then, trivia. We sat at the farthest place away from our reserved bar seats because we were still thinking of doing a last minute wifi deal. Not the Captain’s Corner, the other side – maybe the Purser’s Palace? – I’m not sure what’s it’s called but it’s a wifi hotspot. In any case, we didn’t manage to figure out the wifi package but we were there when song trivia broke out. The Twin totally embarrassed me when she wrote down that Georgia was performed by Stevie Wonder. I’m accepting applications for a new travel partner. Must be able to handle loud punctuations of profanity in the middle of the night. (Marcia? Call me!)

 

While there, we overheard, believe me we couldn’t help it, a woman on the house phone with the dining room trying to get a reservation for six at 5:15 that evening. We could only hear one end of the conversation but from what it sounded like, the dining room didn’t open until 5:30. She was a bear. A radioactive bear. A radioactive bear who had stepped on a lego and was suffering from a nuclear-level toothache. She yelled, she threatened, she was going to speak with the captain. The only time the word “please” was pulled from her lips it sounded like she wasn’t sure she was pronouncing it correctly. I was gonna give her a nasty look but she already had one. I’m not sure how long she’d been on the ship but even if it was only four days, like us, how can you possibly still be in such a bad mood?

 

In any case, they were throwing us off the next day so we went down to the Front Desk to send a few gifts to folks we’d met. A chocolate strawberry or two doesn’t come close to expressing our feelings toward our new friends but we’d consumed all the wine so we were left with few options.

 

I believe we managed another nap before halfheartedly packing and dressing for dinner where we thanked our dining room servers and got a special treat when Adi came by our table to wish us happy travels. Somehow, I’m sure we’ll see him again soon.

 

We went to sleep feeling pretty sure we were coming down with serious cases of premature disembarkation. But, I’m sure there’s an app for that; I’ll look it up once we have wifi again.

Thank you to the maximum degree of appreciation for this rollicking piece of erudition. I will read this again to make sure I laughed at everything at least once.

It certainly was wonderful meeting "The Chardonnay Sisters. Hope to sail with you both in the future.

I nominate you for "BPE".......best post ever! I couldn't stop reading it.

Thank you.

 

David

Edited May 21, 2015 by DAllenTCY

Awesome, as always! :D:):D

great read..thanks

I was so excited when I saw the thread title........ I knew your post would be great and it is better than great.

 

As always, a treat to sail along with you.

thanks so much for another great tale of the Chardonnay Sisters take to the sea.

Mere words cannot express the joy I feel knowing that you've started another thread.

Loved this!!! Thank you for writing it.

Would love to sail with the Chardonnay Sisters; I also love purses. Your one liners are classic - permission to borrow them and use them from time to time. Hope your flight home was smooth enough that you didn't spill any wine.

 

Smooth Sailing ! :) :) :)

Oh, to be on a cruise with the Chardonnay Sisters... But the posts are a treat too

Thanks for another fabulous cruise review.

I always love reading about your good times on board. Thanks for the chuckles!

My favorite post ever! Thanks for the laughs. Your writing style is superb. Maybe you could drift from non profit to novels. Make a few million and travel often.

Edited May 21, 2015 by Cruiser Andi

Loved every word of it!:D

I've been so busy since arriving home (unpacking then work) I haven't had much time for CC. But I have been looking/waiting/hoping for a thread from the Chardonnay Sisters and here it is! ;):D

 

Thank you SO much for the TWO plates of chocolate covered strawberries. Very yummy!

 

It was so nice meeting you both. I hope we can sail together again soon!

This review was delightful. I read the first post on my break at work and had to finish reading the other posts when I got home.

Thanks for posting your marvelous review.

 

Absolutely wonderful! Great way to begin the day with lots of laughs.

Until the day I sail with the Chardonnay Sisters arrives I will have to be satisfied with reading your reports. Another marvelous post.

Thanks.

Fantastic report! You girls rock!

Oh, to be on a cruise with the Chardonnay Sisters... But the posts are a treat too

 

A combination of the Chardonnay Sisters AND the Sailaway Gang.....now that would be an awesome cruise!!

Having read all your reports, I have to say this is the best yet! Phenomenal exhibit of top notch writing skills!

 

Thanks for the enjoyable read!!

Thanks for another installment of the your travels. You make no end of smiles and chuckles with your wit; in many ways I think we all have seen the same people and places, good and bad, and now have new ways of seeing them through your words. You absolutely raise the bar around here! :)

Edited May 21, 2015 by 0bnxshs

Awesome report :D

 

###