Royal Caribbean Cruisers -- How Are Things Where You Are? (was "Routine" ​ 😁 ​day in lockdown... how was yours?)

[firefly333]

12 minutes ago, Jimbo said:

Put down the quilts and get to packing !!!

Lol if only. 3 days of hand therapy and a day with the doctor. Monday stove guy. Put off from friday. My oven broke last jan. I've been buried since this started. I'm trustee. Finally last week found a cpa who understands what taxes to file for the trust. Other referrals dont answer their phone. Finally got that started. Every day it's something. UBS manages funds read only, I cant attach pdf to emails. Her credit card was cancelled at her death. Had to docusign 4 things to set auto payment took a month. Friday late the guy who sold them a annuity about 1984 said it's ready for signing when can we meet. Even if it's only half mine it's a lot of $$$. Need to get it. Getting a refund where she was staying as I paid all of January.. still waiting. 

 

I want a hair cut for the cruise. Hard to squeeze myself and packing, sign into American airlines I think 24 hours before? I need to find out and get with the cruise stuff but I've been buried in paperwork. Neglecting my therapy I'm sure. Not doing well there. Finally seeing the end of the tunnel. . Until taxes next year lol. 

 

I'm just concentrating on getting to the cruise. Packing light as possible with my broken wrist.

[Sunshine3601]

33 minutes ago, Keksie said:

Those are all beautiful quilts and quilt tops.  My thoughts (being a fiber artist I appreciate the value of the quilts) is to keep the 2 bedroom condo.  It is the one you already own and loved enough to want to live there.  I would give the cousins the quilts that they will appreciate.  I would pick out the quilts that give you happy memories of your mom.  If you don't have much art on the walls then use the quilts as artwork.  There are many ways to display and hang them.  You can also have a cedar chest at the foot of each bed full of quilts that you can change out as the seasons change.  Then you can always throw a couple over a sofa or chair.  This will get a lot of the quilts out of the boxes.  If there is a top you want to keep reach out to a quilt guild to find someone to finish it for you.  Keeping the rest of the quilts in boxes in a spare bedroom is not going to give you joy but cause you stress.  You could reach out to quilt guilds to get ideas on how to sell/donate etc. the quilts/tops you don't want.  There are also auction houses that specialize in quilts.  

You provided some great ideas😃      When I moved my Mother to an Assisted Living apartment and I had the fun job of cleaning out my Parents house and found so many boxes of items she had packed up from her Mother's home from when she passed away that it was very overwhelming.     A woman at the facility where my Mother lived told me "Remember the items she treasured are not necessarily items you have to keep, especially if they will just remain in a box unused."    Those words stuck with me every time I went to the home to clean out.     I donated many items to several different charities with the hopes that someone else will enjoy and appreciate them and I kept the items that had meaning to me.      

[jmh2006]

48 minutes ago, Keksie said:

Those are all beautiful quilts and quilt tops.  My thoughts (being a fiber artist I appreciate the value of the quilts) is to keep the 2 bedroom condo.  It is the one you already own and loved enough to want to live there.  I would give the cousins the quilts that they will appreciate.  I would pick out the quilts that give you happy memories of your mom.  If you don't have much art on the walls then use the quilts as artwork.  There are many ways to display and hang them.  You can also have a cedar chest at the foot of each bed full of quilts that you can change out as the seasons change.  Then you can always throw a couple over a sofa or chair.  This will get a lot of the quilts out of the boxes.  If there is a top you want to keep reach out to a quilt guild to find someone to finish it for you.  Keeping the rest of the quilts in boxes in a spare bedroom is not going to give you joy but cause you stress.  You could reach out to quilt guilds to get ideas on how to sell/donate etc. the quilts/tops you don't want.  There are also auction houses that specialize in quilts.  

 

My husband restores farm equipment as a hobby.  Over the years several of his friends have passed, leaving behind large collections of farm equipment.  Some of the widows are hesitant to sell at auction because the auction house takes a percentage, so now the equipment is rusting away in a shed someplace.  Even if only breaks even at auction, the person who bought the equipment in the first place had the joy of owning it, fixing it up and showing it, now it can go someplace else to be enjoyed all over again and not just gathering dust/rust in the dark.  

 

I totally agree with the above.  If you are going to keep them just to store in boxes in a spare room, I think it would be better to donate to organizations who could actually use them.  Keep all the quilts that you will use or display for sure!

[firefly333]

4 minutes ago, Sunshine3601 said:

You provided some great ideas😃      When I moved my Mother to an Assisted Living apartment and I had the fun job of cleaning out my Parents house and found so many boxes of items she had packed up from her Mother's home from when she passed away that it was very overwhelming.     A woman at the facility where my Mother lived told me "Remember the items she treasured are not necessarily items you have to keep, especially if they will just remain in a box unused."    Those words stuck with me every time I went to the home to clean out.     I donated many items to several different charities with the hopes that someone else will enjoy and appreciate them and I kept the items that had meaning to me.      

Besides the quilts mostly I kept photos.  Might par those down but not yet. Didnt even know she had their wedding album .. it still makes me cry. So many hopes and dreams I think to myself. I let the other stuff go. But i still have a lot more. I had stuff stored there i had to grab before it disappeared, oriental rugs and old pieces .. my silver they kept. 

 

My cousin came from Lubbock for the funeral and gave me good advice just keep doing it one thing at a time. At the time i said oh sure but that's how it's been. The refund from the rehab place, i asked for last jan. Wait for end of month. Wait 2 weeks. We didnt get a bill paid from medicare. I paid over $6k for her room, $200 a day so it's a couple thousand. I've just had to keep at it one thing at a time.

[firefly333]

1 minute ago, jmh2006 said:

I totally agree with the above.  If you are going to keep them just to store in boxes in a spare room, I think it would be better to donate to organizations who could actually use them.  Keep all the quilts that you will use or display for sure!

As I said not worried about the quilts. All I can take in my SUV will go to one cousin who will share thru her church. I'm a pack rat and will keep what I can. Got another cousin to share with. Another asked for 1 quilt I'll bring to cinn for him too. No lack of people who want a finished quilt.

 

Im now wondering about a bigger place in florida. It's a 2 2. Probably be next year before I move. Taxes, cruises booked. Might or might not cancel last 2 in my signature oct and dec 2024. Not ready to decide, until I'm clear here. I moved a lot of cash into 6 month treasuries feb 24  I'm already taking charge as trustee for my disabled sister. Got a lawyer working on new trust and putting the house in my sisters name but staying on title as trustee so her husband cant sell it. Hes been less than great in the past. Cant trust him. Been very busy. 

[Sunshine3601]

1 minute ago, firefly333 said:

Besides the quilts mostly I kept photos.  Might par those down but not yet. Didnt even know she had their wedding album .. it still makes me cry. So many hopes and dreams I think to myself. I let the other stuff go. But i still have a lot more. I had stuff stored there i had to grab before it disappeared, oriental rugs and old pieces .. my silver they kept. 

 

My cousin came from Lubbock for the funeral and gave me good advice just keep doing it one thing at a time. At the time i said oh sure but that's how it's been. The refund from the rehab place, i asked for last jan. Wait for end of month. Wait 2 weeks. We didnt get a bill paid from medicare. I paid over $6k for her room, $200 a day so it's a couple thousand. I've just had to keep at it one thing at a time.

Sorry to hear you are dealing with a BIL that is having items disappear that were special to you.    

Yes, one thing at a time is the great advice.     

My MIL passed away last Thanksgiving and we have been slowly cleaning out her house.   As I had already been through this with my parent's home I have a much different experience this time and basically letting the grandchildren pick what they want for their homes and donating the rest.   

Also, placing notices on FB marketplace to pick up "used furniture" for free has been a success.    

It does make me come home and clean out our stuff so no one has to go through all the trouble of deciding what to do with everything in our home.   

For photos, I put them all into a large plastic storage tub and my Brother and I picked out our favorites and made digital copies and gave memory sticks to various family members with the digital photos.    We then picked out some that we wanted the actual photo and threw out the rest.    

 

Handling an Estate as Executor/Trustee does involve a lot of paperwork and patience.   This is our 2nd time with being Executor so we have learned "the ropes"  but everything seems to take longer nowadays then 3 years ago.   

 

Try not to get overwhelmed and stressed out.    One thing at a time definitely comes into play.   

 

[lenquixote66]

1 hour ago, DaniDanielle said:

No.  They had a few but if I haven’t seen you in fifty years I don’t need to see you now!!  

I am in contact with 32 people that I knew in Elementary School.Most via e-mail ,some by phone and one in person.

My school had an online message board for all year graduates.There were about 100 people who were regulars .In 2006 we decided to have an all years reunion .Forty people attended but they were all from my year to one year before me and one year after.Everyone had a great time and we had two more reunions.

[reallyitsmema]

19 minutes ago, firefly333 said:

As I said not worried about the quilts. All I can take in my SUV will go to one cousin who will share thru her church. I'm a pack rat and will keep what I can. Got another cousin to share with. Another asked for 1 quilt I'll bring to cinn for him too. No lack of people who want a finished quilt.

 

Im now wondering about a bigger place in florida. It's a 2 2. Probably be next year before I move. Taxes, cruises booked. Might or might not cancel last 2 in my signature oct and dec 2024. Not ready to decide, until I'm clear here. I moved a lot of cash into 6 month treasuries feb 24  I'm already taking charge as trustee for my disabled sister. Got a lawyer working on new trust and putting the house in my sisters name but staying on title as trustee so her husband cant sell it. Hes been less than great in the past. Cant trust him. Been very busy. 

 

I would not sell Florida yet.  You haven't even been able to stay there because of taking care of your parents.  I would hold onto it until you actually get a chance to stay there and see if you like it.  If you decide it is too small, then start looking for something you might like better.  Don't make a rash decision you might regret.

 

Also consider filing for an extension on the taxes so you can just slow down and allow yourself to grieve and allow your wrist to heal.  I know you have to get things in order for your sister but think of yourself too.

[firefly333]

21 minutes ago, reallyitsmema said:

 

I would not sell Florida yet.  You haven't even been able to stay there because of taking care of your parents.  I would hold onto it until you actually get a chance to stay there and see if you like it.  If you decide it is too small, then start looking for something you might like better.  Don't make a rash decision you might regret.

 

Also consider filing for an extension on the taxes so you can just slow down and allow yourself to grieve and allow your wrist to heal.  I know you have to get things in order for your sister but think of yourself too.

I didnt plan on selling the florida condo. They arent making more oceanfront and it will hold its value. I have it rented out sept to sept which I would probably renew this year. 

 

I'd sell this house not the florida condo. I inherited a pretty large sum, and my sister got a very nice house. I'm just thinking I might want something at least equal and larger. Lots to decide. .. but had no plans to sell it. 

[BonTexasNY]

1 hour ago, firefly333 said:

Besides the quilts mostly I kept photos.  Might par those down but not yet. Didnt even know she had their wedding album .. it still makes me cry. So many hopes and dreams I think to myself. I let the other stuff go. But i still have a lot more. I had stuff stored there i had to grab before it disappeared, oriental rugs and old pieces .. my silver they kept. 

 

My cousin came from Lubbock for the funeral and gave me good advice just keep doing it one thing at a time. At the time i said oh sure but that's how it's been. The refund from the rehab place, i asked for last jan. Wait for end of month. Wait 2 weeks. We didnt get a bill paid from medicare. I paid over $6k for her room, $200 a day so it's a couple thousand. I've just had to keep at it one thing at a time.

I can see you need this Bella cruise desperately!  You certainly have your hands full.  I am so sorry how stressed things are for you but things WILL get better.  

 

 Your grief is fresh and hopefully, one day you will think of them with smiles.

 

Your cousin gave good advice.  Take one "project" at a time.

[Jimbo]

Look outside tonight if it is clear where you are...its Venus and Jupiter. Looks like 2 very bright stars close to each other.

 

 

 

 

Edited March 5, 2023 by Jimbo

[Ocean Boy]

11 minutes ago, Jimbo said:

Look outside tonight if it is clear where you are...its Venus and Jupiter. Looks like 2 very bright stars close to each other.

 

 

 

 

The clouds have moved out and I saw that tonight but wasn't sure what I was looking at. Thanks

[DaniDanielle]

Debbi and Dani, Charlie has appointments starting Monday with Primary care. Kidney doctor Tuesday.  He is feeling better, thanks but nowhere near where he should be.

[DaniDanielle]

This has helped😁

[Jimbo]

24 minutes ago, Ocean Boy said:

The clouds have moved out and I saw that tonight but wasn't sure what I was looking at. Thanks

2 nights ago the 2 planets were really close together ,last night it was cloudy  here so couldn't see it. Tonight it super clear out, can see them really well.

[Luckynana]

1 hour ago, DaniDanielle said:

Debbi and Dani, Charlie has appointments starting Monday with Primary care. Kidney doctor Tuesday.  He is feeling better, thanks but nowhere near where he should be.

Wishing you both luck at Charlie's two appointments next week, Marietta.🙏

[Luckynana]

22 hours ago, FromSea2ShiningSea said:

 

@Tree_skieris supposed to be the 3/5 Oasis cruise right before ours.  I hope he's okay.

 

I'm wondering if I will be able to spot him at the flowrider this week🤔

[cruiselvr04]

2 hours ago, Ocean Boy said:

The clouds have moved out and I saw that tonight but wasn't sure what I was looking at. Thanks

There's an app for that.  Planets.

 

[Sea Dog]

2 hours ago, Jimbo said:

Look outside tonight if it is clear where you are...its Venus and Jupiter. Looks like 2 very bright stars close to each other.

 

 

 

 

Im sure it looked even more impressive with the naked eye. I saw it earlier this week. Very cool.

[FromSea2ShiningSea]

1 hour ago, Luckynana said:

I'm wondering if I will be able to spot him at the flowrider this week🤔

Are you on the same cruise with him? He has knee issues so I’m not sure he will be doing much Fllowrider.  I hope you get to meet him if you’re on the same cruise.  Super nice guy and his wife, too.

[brillohead]

13 hours ago, Ocean Boy said:

Some birth mothers simply are not cut out to be mothers. Best to let go of what can't be changed and enjoy this whole new world that is opening up to you. I'm really excited for you. Stories like yours also make me appreciate more the family I was fortunate enough to be born in to.

In my case, both my birthmother and my adoptive mother weren't cut out to be mothers... but it's taught me what NOT to do as a mother, and as a result I have what I think is a very close and healthy relationship with my son.  Basically as I was raising him, I did the exact opposite of what I experienced in childhood, and it's worked out well for us.  

Therapy and time and experience has taught me that my mothers have their own problems, and those problems have nothing to do with me as a person.  (This lesson was one that took a LOT of time, but has finally sunk in. My bio-mom is a huge alcoholic, and my adopto-mom has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)  They will both die as lonely, insecure women, while I will not.  I'm so thankful that I was able to break the dysfunction cycle. 

 

My new family on my father's side is HUGE on both his father's and his mother's side... that's going to take some getting used to for me (pretty much everyone I knew in my adoptive family only had two kids, whereas my father was one of at least ten kids!!!!), but I'm looking forward to the new experience! It's a good thing I didn't learn about all these folks back in the days of snail mail when I used to send out Christmas cards to everyone I knew -- I'd go broke!  LOL

 

[Ocean Boy]

5 minutes ago, brillohead said:

In my case, both my birthmother and my adoptive mother weren't cut out to be mothers... but it's taught me what NOT to do as a mother, and as a result I have what I think is a very close and healthy relationship with my son.  Basically as I was raising him, I did the exact opposite of what I experienced in childhood, and it's worked out well for us.  

Therapy and time and experience has taught me that my mothers have their own problems, and those problems have nothing to do with me as a person.  (This lesson was one that took a LOT of time, but has finally sunk in. My bio-mom is a huge alcoholic, and my adopto-mom has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)  They will both die as lonely, insecure women, while I will not.  I'm so thankful that I was able to break the dysfunction cycle. 

 

My new family on my father's side is HUGE on both his father's and his mother's side... that's going to take some getting used to for me (pretty much everyone I knew in my adoptive family only had two kids, whereas my father was one of at least ten kids!!!!), but I'm looking forward to the new experience! It's a good thing I didn't learn about all these folks back in the days of snail mail when I used to send out Christmas cards to everyone I knew -- I'd go broke!  LOL

 

I don't know how many times I have said to kids in my practice, that don't have the best family life, that they are learning what type of parent they don't want to be some day. And that they will be so much better at it because of what they are going through now.

[taznremmy]

4 hours ago, Jimbo said:

2 nights ago the 2 planets were really close together ,last night it was cloudy  here so couldn't see it. Tonight it super clear out, can see them really well.

I saw them last night, but tonight we have clouds.  I see NPR is calling it a "cosmic kiss".  They won't be closer again until 2032.

[taznremmy]

3 hours ago, Luckynana said:

I'm wondering if I will be able to spot him at the flowrider this week🤔

Let us know if you do!

[brillohead]

2 hours ago, Ocean Boy said:

I don't know how many times I have said to kids in my practice, that don't have the best family life, that they are learning what type of parent they don't want to be some day. And that they will be so much better at it because of what they are going through now.

I've recently started some chatting with a niece (from my maternal half-brother).  Her mother is a functional alcoholic (sadly not at all unusual for my half-brother -- raised by an alcoholic mother -- to have married an alcoholic wife... although at least his wife is capable of emotion, unlike our bio-mom), and she's trying to correct mistakes she experienced growing up as she's raising her own kids as well.

People seem to either repeat the mistakes or avoid them.  Breaking the cycle takes a lot of self-awareness (and, at least in my case, therapy to achieve that self-awareness.... codependence is a MFer!).