Looking for advice about how to deal with the family of an unvaccinated teen

[MisterOJ2]

So, a couple months ago, my wife and I booked an October cruise for ourselves, our daughter and one of her friends. The friend will be 17 at the time of sailing.

 

The friend is not vaccinated. Her parents are pretty... against it. At least her mom is, who seems to make the decisions. At the time we were booking, we told the mom, "Right now, they are requiring pretty much everyone to be vaccinated. I guess there's a chance that might change before October, but right now - those are the rules." And she went ahead and gave her daughter permission and paid us for (most) of her daughter's fare. 

 

As of right now, the friend is just listed as TBA on our booking. So, there's no name on it. We did that on purpose, just in case something happens (like the rule doesn't change and she doesn't get vaccinated) and we can't take her. That way we could at least maybe bring someone else on the cruise.

 

Fast forward to today. With cases going up, I really doubt the vaccine mandate will be dropped by October. If the girl is going to get her vaccine, she would need to get the first dose in August, I'm figuring. (The kid really wants to go and would get vaccinated to do so in a second, if her mom would allow it.) At what point would you tell the girl's mom, "Look, I really don't think they're going to lift the vaccine mandate. She's going to either have to get the vaccine, or she won't be able to go." Is sooner better? Would you say something like, "If the rules don't change by the first of August, you're going to have to make a decision?"

 

I have no idea what's the best way to go about this.

[klfrodo]

Tough situation to be in.

 

I'm kind of in the same situation where I had to tell my kids that we are not taking the grandkids on a cruise or to Mexico this year unless they are vaccinated. They have chosen not to vaccinate and that's okay. We had the discussion.

 

I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd have the discussion sooner rather than later. Either way, you must respect their decision and they must respect yours. Also gives you time to find another friend that can go.

[mz-s]

You do not need to sugar coat it. Carnival is clear on their COVID policies page that they will be operating under their vaccinated cruises rule through the end of the year. So the vaccine requirement is not going to be lifted until then at the earliest, and it is unlikely that this 17 year old will be able to secure an exception. So you probably never should have booked them on the cruise.

 

edit: perhaps Carnival has taken the date off, I could have sworn at one point the page said through December 2022, but now it just says until further notice. In any event, the rest of my post stands.

Edited May 17, 2022 by mz-s

[Cruise, J.D.]

Agree with above. Settle the issue now and move forward.

[TrqoisWtrs]

Honestly I would want an answer asap.  Isn't August when final payment would be due - if not sooner than that?  I wouldn't want to be messing around after final payment - think there might be a fee to add a name, and if so, who should pay that if its not their fault they got asked late?

[Ferry_Watcher]

Sadly, this young lady will miss out on a great vacation opportunity.  Hoping that as soon as she turns 18 that she will make her own decision regarding her medical health.  At least you tried..

[ColeThornton]

Nothing difficult about this.   Just get straight to the point at the first opportunity you have.  Simple.

[katiel53]

I'd tell the mother asap.  The friend is going to be very disappointed, but her mother will have to deal with it.  It is highly unlikely that the vaccine mandated will be lifted prior to your cruise.

[cruisingguy007]

Let the mom/friend know ASAP and find another friend who is vaccinated to sub in.

[Drazil65]

Not a tough situation at all...have convo sooner than later and tell parents that she has a deadline (and come up with one you are comfortable with otherwise I have a feeling they will wait until last minute and cause a lot of stress etc).  If they dont want to play ball then there is your answer and tell DD that she is free to choose someone else.  

 

Personally, I would not give up control of this issue to the friends parents, they are aware of the rules to cruise and that is the end of it.  Move on so that you have plenty of time to make other arrangements.  

[travelplus]

Call the Friend's cruise off the books. 

[Lane Hog]

I also doubt the policy will change before your cruise date.  Laying out the letter of the law is about all you can really do aside from having a backup ready to go... 

Personally, if the friend is already 17, that's an age where I as a parent would be letting her make that decision.  She's months away from being able to make it for herself.  However, Kentucky requires a parent to consent, so either the mother and daughter work this out, the father overrides the mother and honors the daughter's wishes, or she doesn't travel with you. 

Many of the vaccine resistant folks I work with who were forced into vaccination by our employer viewed the J&J vaccine with a lot less scrutiny than the two mRNA vaccines currently pushed by the government.  None had any negative consequences from the J&J, nor did I... 

It's also once and done, so there's less worry about the timing of a second shot as long as you're more than 17 days out (accounting for the pre-cruise testing).

Edited May 17, 2022 by Lane Hog

[maryann2]

Here in B.C. her friend would be able to make the choice herself.   Mature minor.

 

https://immunizebc.ca/consent-vaccines

 

 

[ChutChut]

Raise the issue - now - with her mom and tell her you must have a yes or no - now. IF no, then that's okay and substitute someone else. Bring the girl back something nice from one of the ports.

[EngIceDave]

As has been said, be open and up front and set a clear "first shot date" demarcation.

 

Get it by this date or we move on, love ya, bye....

[keels81]

Your poor daughter, I'm sure she's torn by the whole situation. You might discuss with her the best way to approach the situation too, since it's obviously a close-enough friend to be traveling on this kind of trip.

[CarolSW]

The family has already said no to the vac, but paid for the cruise anyway, gambling that the mandate will be lifted.  That gamble they are taking is making your plans uncertain and uncomfortable.  I would be anxious under those conditions myself.  It is not fair to you to have this uncertainty lingering when you are trying to make plans for YOUR trip.
 

Approach the convo by giving them their money back, letting them know you are finalizing your plans and need to be clear on who will be sailing with you.  I don’t think you need to set any deadline.  They either decide yes or no NOW based on the requirements as they are now.  This is YOUR cruise, and you are in charge!

[JerseyGirlJen]

Regarding you speaking to the girls parents......remember, It's not anything personal against their choice to not vaccinate....you're not refusing the child, Carnival is.  It's Carnival's rule.  

 

I think you should let them know that as of now Carnival still hasn't changed their requirements.  Your daughter would still like to bring a friend so as much as it completely sucks, you're going to have to choose another kid to tag along and need to be able to have that other family plan financially, make sure passports are in order, etc. so you can't wait until the last minute.

 

[Bgwest]

When will she turn 18??

[klfrodo]

7 minutes ago, Bgwest said:

When will she turn 18??

That was my thought with my granddaughter also.

I was going to suggest it to her so she could go to Europe with me and Grandma, but I didn't want to put her into that position to openly defy mom and dad's wishes just to travel with us, then have to come back home.  Now, if she came upon that decision on her own,,,,,,,, now that's a different story.

[UpstateCruizer]

I would NOT give them August as a must be vaccinated by date. She needs to be fully vaccinated 15 days prior to the sail date. 
 

I’d respect the mom’s wishes and simply tell her that Carnival isn’t removing the requirement so sadly you have to give her deposit back. End of story 😞 

[BlerkOne]

Get ready to give the parent back her money 

[Ombud]

17 hours ago, MisterOJ2 said:

paid us for (most) of her daughter's fare. 

Yes her mom will want her $$s back ASAP

Edited May 18, 2022 by Ombud

[jsglow]

No doubt a difficult conversation.  I'm assuming you are all staying together in one room.  This 'money issue' says to me you need to get this cleared up sooner rather than later. This gives your daughter time to find a possible replacement friend.  I can tell you one thing, if the other family's decision to cancel is vaccination related and her cruise fare has become 'non-refundable' and she can't be readily replaced I wouldn't be refunding them out of my own pocket. 

[nissach]

18 hours ago, MisterOJ2 said:

So, a couple months ago, my wife and I booked an October cruise for ourselves, our daughter and one of her friends. The friend will be 17 at the time of sailing.

 

The friend is not vaccinated. Her parents are pretty... against it. At least her mom is, who seems to make the decisions. At the time we were booking, we told the mom, "Right now, they are requiring pretty much everyone to be vaccinated. I guess there's a chance that might change before October, but right now - those are the rules." And she went ahead and gave her daughter permission and paid us for (most) of her daughter's fare. 

 

As of right now, the friend is just listed as TBA on our booking. So, there's no name on it. We did that on purpose, just in case something happens (like the rule doesn't change and she doesn't get vaccinated) and we can't take her. That way we could at least maybe bring someone else on the cruise.

 

Fast forward to today. With cases going up, I really doubt the vaccine mandate will be dropped by October. If the girl is going to get her vaccine, she would need to get the first dose in August, I'm figuring. (The kid really wants to go and would get vaccinated to do so in a second, if her mom would allow it.) At what point would you tell the girl's mom, "Look, I really don't think they're going to lift the vaccine mandate. She's going to either have to get the vaccine, or she won't be able to go." Is sooner better? Would you say something like, "If the rules don't change by the first of August, you're going to have to make a decision?"

 

I have no idea what's the best way to go about this.

You are the ones taking responsibility for this child while on the cruise, so I would just tell them straight up what the rules are and what needs to happen for her to be able to come with you on the cruise.