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P&O Cruisers - What are things like where YOU are?

Host Sharon

By Host Sharon,
in P&O Cruises ( UK )

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Eddie99 "Live from...." Rare

Eddie99

Posted
Posted

Weather due to improve from midweek

 

Its shocking this morning.  Puppy class was reduced to just two pups, their mums and one trainer.  Nearly one to one tuition.  It was persisting it down but the pups were so good and concentrated hard.  Mine is spark out now, till her belly lets her known it’s lunch time

 

No further plans for the day.  I’ve amended my shopping order for delivery tomorrow - added a couple bars of chocolate as compensation for the rain!

 

Have the best day you can, everyone 

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Adawn47

Adawn47

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, kalos said:

 

Dont worry Avril , all you need is a diet instructor :classic_smile: You could ask Brian ,his diet looks good for keeping slim ..

Losing weight ? ....  A piece of cake , if you ask him . :classic_unsure::classic_biggrin:

Thanks kalos, but I'll worry about it after Christmas. I'll just ignore those lying scales for now. If they get lonely they might decide to stop being so rude and tell the truth😇

Avril

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AndyMichelle

AndyMichelle

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Adawn47 said:

Thanks kalos, but I'll worry about it after Christmas. I'll just ignore those lying scales for now. If they get lonely they might decide to stop being so rude and tell the truth😇

Avril

My mate is in trouble... 

His wife sent him out with the instruction to get some of those pills that would give him an erection... 

He came back and handed her some diet pills... 

Boy, is he in the dog house...

Andy 😊

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Harry Peterson

Harry Peterson

Posted
Posted

Shamelessly lifted from another part of these forums - how true they are I have no idea, but some of them are quite amusing.
 

HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan!
>> _______________________________
>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>> WITNESS: July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>> WITNESS: Every year.
>> _____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>> _________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: I forget..
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> ____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
>> WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: Getting laid
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: By death..
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> WITNESS: Take a guess.
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
>> _____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> ______________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>> WITNESS: Oral...
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
>> ______________________________________
>> And last:
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No..
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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ann141

ann141

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Harry Peterson said:

Shamelessly lifted from another part of these forums - how true they are I have no idea, but some of them are quite amusing.
 

HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan!
>> _______________________________
>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>> WITNESS: July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>> WITNESS: Every year.
>> _____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>> _________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: I forget..
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> ____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
>> WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: Getting laid
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: By death..
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> WITNESS: Take a guess.
>> ___________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
>> _____________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> ______________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>> WITNESS: Oral...
>> _________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
>> ____________________________________________
>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
>> ______________________________________
>> And last:
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No..
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Its great to have something to make us laugh at the moment

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kalos

kalos

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Presto2 said:

Have you just seen the clip from Downing Street and seen the cat standing on guard -------------- sooooooo funny!!!

More confidence now, the cat is in control !!!!

 

Rumour has it the cat wrote the speech :classic_ohmy: Hence the paws :classic_unsure:

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Presto2 Great Review Rare

Presto2

Posted
Posted

PS Do love you folk and will never forget our Lockdown Covid 19 days without remembering being part of this forum ----- 

 

I now think we need to open some betting re when this announcement is going to be --- even though we know what he is going to say ??????/

 

If we get loads of data we are turning to Star Trek ----------- you have to be a Trekkie to get that one

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kalos

kalos

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Presto2 said:

Do love you folk and will never forget our Lockdown Covid 19 days without remembering being part of this forum

 

 

Awwww ..Next slide please !  Which shows  the "AWWW " rate going up on this forum ..:classic_smile:

 

Very infectious cos we all love you as well :classic_love::classic_biggrin:

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