Royal Caribbean Cruisers -- How Are Things Where You Are? (was "Routine" ​ 😁 ​day in lockdown... how was yours?)

[jagsfan]

1 hour ago, Luckynana said:

 

A friend of mine was also heartbroken that her mom didn't know who she was.

 

Our SIL, DD, and adult granddaughters visit his 98 year old mom in Ft Lauderdale every 3 or 4 months. Jon’s 6 living brothers live there so she has company at least once a week. 
Some days she recognizes her children, some days she doesn’t. 
My DD says the silver lining is that she tells them about things that happened throughout her marriage. They’ve heard about her courtship, her wedding, her joy having 13 children and sadness losing two before they were two years old. 
She even told them about their own wedding and the whole family coming up to Jacksonville with all of their children. 
Jon has learned wonderful things about his parents he never knew. 
Alzheimer’s takes away so much, but if you’re lucky, it gives a few gold nuggets. 
 

[OnTheJourney]

3 hours ago, mets07 said:

As seen in New Jersey moments ago. 

Whoa!!!! That pic is awesome!!  

 

2 hours ago, Luckynana said:

A friend of mine was also heartbroken that her mom didn't know who she was.

That's what happened with my Mom and Dad. He constantly denied that she was his wife!  Can you imagine? After decades of being together. She tried SO hard with him and was his sole caretaker for years - used to get out photo albums to try to jog his memory, etc. Heartwrenching. The one night he called me and said, "hey...I need your help with something...what's my phone number?"  So after I told him, he said, "well, that's what I thought but every time I dial I get a busy signal"  Geez Louise!!!  I sat there thinking...how in the world do I get out of this? So I attempted to tell him that the reason he's getting a busy signal is because he IS calling his own house. Nah-ah. He didn't buy it and said, "Get out of here...I'm trying to call my house..that's the problem!". NO point arguing with people who have this affliction. Finally he got frustrated and said, "well, if you can't help me I have things to do here", and with that the line went dead!  Too much!!  Gotta laugh or you'd cry, as the saying goes. 

 

Another time my wife, I, and my daughter were at their place for a visit - probably a Holiday - and he asked my daughter, "so where are you living just now?"  At the time my daughter was in High School...so she sort of looked a tad uncertain as to how to reply but then told him where we live. So then he thought about that for awhile and said..."I have a son who lives there!"...So then she came back with, "yep...that's my Dad". It's just SO WEIRD how the mind works under dementia. He connected me with our place of residence, but could not connect my daughter with me. It gets to the point where it's like taking every scrap of info that's stored in the brain and throwing it all in a big pot, stirring it up, and then just drawing out fragments at random without any cohesive logic as to the connections between much of it. 

 

The most poignant memory of all was one time when I was with him while my wife took my Mom grocery shopping. I prepared some lunch for him and then afterwards he sat there for awhile not saying anything. (I must say next that my Dad was a POW during WWII - was captured the 2nd day of the Bulge and spent the rest of the war in German prison camp). So then he got real pensive and finally said, "well, I'll tell you one thing...war is hell". To this day I wonder what was going through his mind at that moment. I think about him every day. 

Edited October 27, 2021 by OnTheJourney

[Luckynana]

32 minutes ago, BonTexasNY said:

. I could be talking to someone or think of something and can't remember the word I need.  

 

  He was a famous Hollywood actor.  I gasped, gaped, got tongue tied.  He apologized profusely, taking my arm to steady me.  I mention this because not long ago I could not think of his name.  I saw him vividly in my mind but couldn't think of his name.    I thought and thought and thought and FINALLY it came to me.  Robert Mitchum!

 

Not finding the word is so very frustrating!!  

Love the story of your episode with Robert Mitchum.  While I've seen, and met celebrities, I've never experienced one having to take my arm to steady me.  How great was that!!!😉

13 minutes ago, jagsfan said:

. 
Alzheimer’s takes away so much, but if you’re lucky, it gives a few gold nuggets. 
 

Mimi, you have such a great way with words!

How are you doing, btw?  🙏You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[OnTheJourney]

31 minutes ago, jagsfan said:

it gives a few gold nuggets. 
 

And those need to be cherished..... Every day is a day of grace...for all of us. 

[lenquixote66]

Many years ago the mother of one of my friends was in a nursing home .She had Alzheimer’s My friend would go to see his mother as often as possible but she never knew who he was.She always thought it was her grandson and would say to him “your father never comes to visit me ,what kind of son is he ? “My friend tried everything but she never realized who he was.

[Luckynana]

8 minutes ago, OnTheJourney said:

 

That's what happened with my Mom and Dad. He constantly denied that she was his wife!  Can you imagine? After decades of being together. She tried SO hard with him and was his sole caretaker for years - used to get out photo albums to try to jog his memory, etc. Heartwrenching. 

 

"...It's just SO weird how the mind works under dementia. He connected me with our place of residence, but could not connect my daughter with me.  

I'm so sorry for you all;  and especially your poor Mom.   I have heard how angry a person with alzheimer's can be when they get so confused...

[Luckynana]

@Sunshine...Safe home tomorrow, Debbie and Eric.

[Sunshine3601]

6 minutes ago, Luckynana said:

@Sunshine...Safe home tomorrow, Debbie and Eric.

Thank you for thinking if us.  I think we are now leaving Thursday.  Had a very busy day with work and didnt pack yet.  Plus I'm hoping for little better weather tomorrow to get in a nice long bike ride before I pack bike away in the shed for winter.

[Lionesss]

9 hours ago, lenquixote66 said:

mos

My father had a cousin who came with his family,4 people to our wedding.The guy was a very prominent NY doctor.Their gift was $25.

 

Ok  I hope you are sitting down for this one and put your drinks down so you do not spit on the computer.

 

To begin with the benign part.

 

My DH and I started saving for out DD's wedding soon after she was born.

We had paid for our own wedding which I must say was awesome 350+ guest. top shelf.

And one day we wanted her to enjoy her wedding free from bills.

 

Any way

 

We paid for the full wedding event

Formal wear to wedding gown and all the trimmings (Dress was $$$$$)

From Hotel rooms

To luncheon day of wedding

To breakfast next morning.

 

1 hour appetizers

6 hour top shelf bar

Sit down dinner,

Live band

DJ for breaks

Limos

Florist

Reverend

Everything related to the cost of a wedding.

 

The DS (Son in law) Grandmother paid for the rehearsal dinner and did a mighty fine job!!!!!!

 

So I did not want to pry on the wedding gift situation but the DD brought it up herself.

 

A couple weeks after the wedding she goes to me.....

 

I got a card that said  "Here's to your future" with no money in it.

 

I go was it signed.

 

She goes  "yes"

 

She goes "What does that mean?"

 

I go, you got stiffed.

 

Then I go, can I ask who it was from.

 

She goes..........Brandons Parents.

 

Now mind you, they are not in dire straits but always play the poor ticket.

 

I think the kids know the situation, now more than ever.

 

On a side note, she could have used the money from buying three packs of cigarettes and popped a  $20 in the card.

 

And besides she welcomed herself to take the food from the luncheon before the bridal party had a chance to eat, Got a bag and took over 20 Panera sandwiches and fruit bowl then later   she actually boxed up the 3 dozen left over cookies out of 2050 cookies to take home. I am glad I ordered a ton of sandwiches, and provided chocolate bars and snacks in addition to the sandwiches.

 

Just when you think you heard it all.

 

I guess it is what it is long before it was what it was.

 

Stay safe

 

 

[jagsfan]

44 minutes ago, Luckynana said:

Not finding the word is so very frustrating!!  

Love the story of your episode with Robert Mitchum.  While I've seen, and met celebrities, I've never experienced one having to take my arm to steady me.  How great was that!!!😉

Mimi, you have such a great way with words!

How are you doing, btw?  🙏You're in my thoughts and prayers.

I’m doing ok. Trying not to dread checking in to the hospital. 
I got my booster shot today and have been moving my arm when I think about it. Luckily, nobody but Dick can see me, and he’s used to me. Whenever keep the arm moving is doing it, but it doesn’t hurt and I think I’ll be able to sleep on it. 
So I’m looking for good things and not dwelling on the bad!

[cynt]

8 hours ago, Luckynana said:

My big problem is forgetting words.  I find that frightening.  

 

😢

Lucky I forget words too. I see them swimming around in my mind. Crazy!! And when I find the word I have a hard time remembering how to pronounce it. Crazy!!

[Ocean Boy]

48 minutes ago, jagsfan said:

I’m doing ok. Trying not to dread checking in to the hospital. 
 

You should not dread it. You should look forward to it as that will be the start of getting rid of the issue and the beginning of the rest of your life.

 

It will all be good.

[OnTheJourney]

1 hour ago, Luckynana said:

I have heard how angry a person with alzheimer's can be when they get so confused...

From all we know, my Dad never got violent with anyone. We were very concerned about that, and my brother and I asked my Mom several times as to whether he ever got threatening, etc. and she said he never did. It was tough to basically lose him one shred of memory and thinking process at a time. 

[BonTexasNY]

43 minutes ago, OnTheJourney said:

From all we know, my Dad never got violent with anyone. We were very concerned about that, and my brother and I asked my Mom several times as to whether he ever got threatening, etc. and she said he never did. It was tough to basically lose him one shred of memory and thinking process at a time. 

Hey, welcome back to our thread.  Hope you can stick around some more!

 

We were blessed that my parents did not suffer from Alzheimer's.  

 

I'm so sorry for you and everyone that  had to live thru that heartbreak.

 

I hope wonderful memories shine through when you all think of your loved ones.

 

[Bailey & Sophie]

6 hours ago, Sea Dog said:

Sorry to hear that Graham. Alzheimer's is horrible for loved ones who have to see the person they love and care about lose their memory of who they were. It's was heartbreaking for me when my grandmother did not who I was.

 

My mom has been in memory care for 3 years. At first her condition wasn't too bad. She could speak short sentences. 

Then she could only speak 1 word replies and could not understand complex questions.

Do you want chicken or fish? Fish.

Do you want Fish or chicken? Chicken.

What ever the last word was was her response.

Then  it morphed into the only word she knew was Sure.

This has further declined and I don't think she has spoken for over a year.

With covid the VA had been closed to all visits for over a year. We've only been able to see her 2 times in the last 4 months. Someone tests positive and they have a lock down. She herself did contract covid before the vaccine. No symptoms but she had to be isolated. I don't think she knows who we are now. The last time we went she completely ignored us. She was watching Say Yes to the Dress in Spanish. She doesn't know Spanish.

It's so hard to watch the declune. This was a woman who was the life of every party.

She's 94 and other than memory issues, as healthy as they come.

[Bailey & Sophie]

2 hours ago, Lionesss said:

 

Ok  I hope you are sitting down for this one and put your drinks down so you do not spit on the computer.

 

To begin with the benign part.

 

My DH and I started saving for out DD's wedding soon after she was born.

We had paid for our own wedding which I must say was awesome 350+ guest. top shelf.

And one day we wanted her to enjoy her wedding free from bills.

 

Any way

 

We paid for the full wedding event

Formal wear to wedding gown and all the trimmings (Dress was $$$$$)

From Hotel rooms

To luncheon day of wedding

To breakfast next morning.

 

1 hour appetizers

6 hour top shelf bar

Sit down dinner,

Live band

DJ for breaks

Limos

Florist

Reverend

Everything related to the cost of a wedding.

 

The DS (Son in law) Grandmother paid for the rehearsal dinner and did a mighty fine job!!!!!!

 

So I did not want to pry on the wedding gift situation but the DD brought it up herself.

 

A couple weeks after the wedding she goes to me.....

 

I got a card that said  "Here's to your future" with no money in it.

 

I go was it signed.

 

She goes  "yes"

 

She goes "What does that mean?"

 

I go, you got stiffed.

 

Then I go, can I ask who it was from.

 

She goes..........Brandons Parents.

 

Now mind you, they are not in dire straits but always play the poor ticket.

 

I think the kids know the situation, now more than ever.

 

On a side note, she could have used the money from buying three packs of cigarettes and popped a  $20 in the card.

 

And besides she welcomed herself to take the food from the luncheon before the bridal party had a chance to eat, Got a bag and took over 20 Panera sandwiches and fruit bowl then later   she actually boxed up the 3 dozen left over cookies out of 2050 cookies to take home. I am glad I ordered a ton of sandwiches, and provided chocolate bars and snacks in addition to the sandwiches.

 

Just when you think you heard it all.

 

I guess it is what it is long before it was what it was.

 

Stay safe

 

 

 

This is so sad. That wedding was spectacular! Maybe it's a good thing the other parents didn't offer to help you! I can only imagine.

[dani negreanu]

@grapau27

 

Heartfelt wishes for your special anniversary. 🥂 🎂 🌷

 

Hope you'll have a wonderful day of celebrations.

 

On second thoughts, make it several days 😉

[dani negreanu]

6 hours ago, Lionesss said:

Brandon's parents.

 

I'm speechless....

 

Hope it doesn't spoil Christina's relations with her in-laws [and even some "ricochets" with Brandon].

 

As I said before, one thing that I can't stand -- cheap people... 😢

 

Even people without any means can find a way to gift symbolically without being broke...

[sgmn]

@grapau27

Happy Birthday Graham, 🍻

Hope you have a super special day 

Sue

Edited October 27, 2021 by sgmn

[sgmn]

3 hours ago, Bailey & Sophie said:

 

My mom has been in memory care for 3 years. At first her condition wasn't too bad. She could speak short sentences. 

Then she could only speak 1 word replies and could not understand complex questions.

Do you want chicken or fish? Fish.

Do you want Fish or chicken? Chicken.

What ever the last word was was her response.

Then  it morphed into the only word she knew was Sure.

This has further declined and I don't think she has spoken for over a year.

With covid the VA had been closed to all visits for over a year. We've only been able to see her 2 times in the last 4 months. Someone tests positive and they have a lock down. She herself did contract covid before the vaccine. No symptoms but she had to be isolated. I don't think she knows who we are now. The last time we went she completely ignored us. She was watching Say Yes to the Dress in Spanish. She doesn't know Spanish.

It's so hard to watch the declune. This was a woman who was the life of every party.

She's 94 and other than memory issues, as healthy as they come.

So sad, its like a bereavement of a thousand cuts 

My mum was in a care home on a dementia wing before she passed away March 2019 and I can absolutely feel what you are going through. 

The care home we chose was brand new and in my village so we could visit daily, and we were lucky she never got to the stage where she forgot who we were, though she did other family members who couldn't visit so often

   But after yet another really bad fall, it was the hardest decision to agree with my brothers that she couldn't cope by herself anymore and needed 24 hour care, and one I will always feel guilty about.

Edited October 27, 2021 by sgmn

[sgmn]

6 hours ago, Lionesss said:

 

Ok  I hope you are sitting down for this one and put your drinks down so you do not spit on the computer.

 

To begin with the benign part.

 

My DH and I started saving for out DD's wedding soon after she was born.

We had paid for our own wedding which I must say was awesome 350+ guest. top shelf.

And one day we wanted her to enjoy her wedding free from bills.

 

Any way

 

We paid for the full wedding event

Formal wear to wedding gown and all the trimmings (Dress was $$$$$)

From Hotel rooms

To luncheon day of wedding

To breakfast next morning.

 

1 hour appetizers

6 hour top shelf bar

Sit down dinner,

Live band

DJ for breaks

Limos

Florist

Reverend

Everything related to the cost of a wedding.

 

The DS (Son in law) Grandmother paid for the rehearsal dinner and did a mighty fine job!!!!!!

 

So I did not want to pry on the wedding gift situation but the DD brought it up herself.

 

A couple weeks after the wedding she goes to me.....

 

I got a card that said  "Here's to your future" with no money in it.

 

I go was it signed.

 

She goes  "yes"

 

She goes "What does that mean?"

 

I go, you got stiffed.

 

Then I go, can I ask who it was from.

 

She goes..........Brandons Parents.

 

Now mind you, they are not in dire straits but always play the poor ticket.

 

I think the kids know the situation, now more than ever.

 

On a side note, she could have used the money from buying three packs of cigarettes and popped a  $20 in the card.

 

And besides she welcomed herself to take the food from the luncheon before the bridal party had a chance to eat, Got a bag and took over 20 Panera sandwiches and fruit bowl then later   she actually boxed up the 3 dozen left over cookies out of 2050 cookies to take home. I am glad I ordered a ton of sandwiches, and provided chocolate bars and snacks in addition to the sandwiches.

 

Just when you think you heard it all.

 

I guess it is what it is long before it was what it was.

 

Stay safe

 

 

How strange they did not contribute anything to the wedding, not even a wedding gift. 

 

It's totally so old fashioned that the brides family pay, I'm surprised Brandon didn't say something to them. At least offer to help with preparations . 

 

My husband and I paid a third towards the costs along with our dear DILs parents and our happy couple at their wedding last August

Sue

 

[dani negreanu]

34 minutes ago, sgmn said:

How strange they did not contribute anything to the wedding, not even a wedding gift. 

 

@Lionesss

 

Pls. don't take this post as "poor me"... 49 years ago the times were different.

 

So, speaking of a wedding gift when you really don't have the means....

 

DH (orphaned at 16 years) and yours truly (new immigrant) choose the cheapest venue (a synagogue, just the ceremony, and some trays of small sandwiches, in and out in less than 2 hours), and paid for it ourselves.

 

My mother, at the last moment, decided that the sandwiches were not enough [people were coming from afar by bus, you got to give them "something"], knew someone from her "village" in Romania who had a bakery shop and gave her a huge discount, and added, as a wedding gift, some trays of chocolate marble cake.

 

As an aside.... being an only daughter, and having a very close and loving relationship with my father, I've always dreamed to grant him the first dance at my wedding.... sigh. It was what it was.

 

 

[grapau27]

2 hours ago, sgmn said:

@grapau27

Happy Birthday Graham, 🍻

Hope you have a super special day 

Sue

Thank you Sue.

We have lunch booked for 12 noon.

Graham.

 

[grapau27]

3 hours ago, dani negreanu said:

@grapau27

 

Heartfelt wishes for your special anniversary. 🥂 🎂 🌷

 

Hope you'll have a wonderful day of celebrations.

 

On second thoughts, make it several days 😉

 

Thank you so much Dani.

Graham x.

[Ozark_Kid]

@grapau27 Happy Birthday Graham.  Hope you have a great day of celebration with your lovely wife!